Dear poetry agony aunt… (a parody)


Quote from
“I’m too scared to ask out my crush.”
I really fancy a boy in my class, I’ve been waiting for a long time for him to ask me out, I cant ask him out ‘coz I’m not brave enough (besides boys ask girls out, ya?)will u tell me what should I do? Should I wait for him to ask me out or should I ask him out?!

05 Dec 2004
Name: Anna
Age: 11

I have been writing poetry online for a while,
and I think some like it.
I also like the poetry they have been writing.
I want to ask someone to
collaborate on a poem with me,
but I feel too shy.
How do I find the courage to ask them?
Or should I wait to be asked?
And if they say “yes”,
how will I know what to do,
and where to put things?
Please help!

08 Aug 2013
Name: Rowan
Age: 38


49 thoughts on “Dear poetry agony aunt… (a parody)

    • Thanks, Heidi….and here it is:

      Dear Rowan,
      In this modern day and age, it is quite appropriate for you to make the first move. You do not have to feel that you should wait around to be asked. However, I wonder if your hesitation, or “shyness” is really an excuse to hide your own lack of commitment. You say that you have been writing online for a while, which indicates you do have some confidence in projecting yourself, so maybe you aren’t really sure if this is right for you, or perhaps you are scared of failure. I’d suggest that if you really are keen, go ahead and ask, but if you know deep down that you are likely to disappoint your partner, hold off until you can manage the commitment.

      Warm regards,
      Poetry Agony Aunt.

  1. ha. i love Mikes reply…lol….
    its def the modern age and i think at this point anyone can ask anyone out…or to write poetry…
    i have collaborated on short story but very limited on poetry, so i dont know where to even begin there beyond jumping in and just getting your hands dirty….but that all starts with an ask…

    • The closest I’ve come was a few days ago on my post “Can’t tell their Dan from their Dante”, where I wrote a poem, my collaborator wrote a blog article, and we recorded the audio version of the poem together. This was all very spontaneous, and not a planned exercise…which perhaps suits me best.

  2. Well, I would say you would be very brave to do a collaboration! That is one thing I have ALWAYS steered clear of!! But I know a lot of people do them. Good luck. Smiles.

    • I can’t quite imagine doing one. At this point it feels like the time at school where boys and girls ask each other out…then…nothing…until one gets bored and drops the other. Having said that I have done haiku exchanges on twitter, so perhaps it depends on my definition of collaboration.

  3. Nothing wrong in asking & getting it directly from the other person ~ I would love to do a collaboration with someone whose style is a contrast to my writing or who can motivate me to write ~ Have a wonderful weekend ~

    • I’m rethinking this stuff as I read the comments, and your use of the word “motivate” makes me think that an inspirational (muse) figure who leads me to write, is in some ways a collaborator even if they don’t know it!

  4. ha… a fun read.. I have collaborated twice for writing a poem. The first time the other person asked.. the second time I asked.. (the person was different this time). It is quite interesting to work on a poem together. Generally, we do it by way of an e-mail communication. A poet starts with a few verses, the other one writes a few and henceforth, it goes on till both of them are satisfied with what they have come up with.

    • Aside from haiku exchanges and a shared audio recording of a poem, I’ve not done a full collaboration on a poem, but I imagine it would be a very new experience, both fun and daunting. Thanks for sharing your own method 😊

    • In many ways the comments can add to the poem and become a form of collaboration, and certainly Mike’s comments on other posts, including his e-Harmony here, give me a very strong sense of that.

  5. An Aunt Advisor can put in lots of good thoughts into one’s queries. Being able to share problems probably make it all the more reassuring. Nicely Rowan, a clever twist!


  6. Collaborations..well, they can be exciting and fun to see what will become. I have done some in the past but, then it becomes a sticky situation as to who owns them in the end.

    • I hadn’t thought about the implications of authorship…not that I’d be too troubled…I’m not expecting the lyrical ballads of Wordsworth and Coleridge to come out of it!

  7. …ha…one of these days i shall write a letter to ‘poetry agony aunt’ as i guess i will be needing more advise from her… hihi… once there was a fellow writing enthusiast from uk who sent me a mail asking if i would be interested to work in some poetry collaboration… and guess what? i didn’t reply…. coz seriously, i have no idea how & what to reply to such kind of offer… ah, poor me… loved the notion behind your writing today… smiles…

    • I’ve read a number of your collaborations and rather marvel at how you are able to work with a number of people. As an expert in this, I should get you to guide me through an attempt (though I should perhaps wait until I’m back home and in a more reliable routine)!

  8. For myself it would never occur to me to collaborate. The closest I have ever come is when several people write on the same theme – which I guess is what we all do here, isn’t it? I adore your poem, and particularly ‘how will I know what to do / and where to put things?’

  9. Good Lord, Rowan, I thought I was the last person on earth who called advice columns “Agony Aunts,” and I love that you used the term. Liked the first letter, all the right texting misspellings… and your reply, answering with another question. Methinks you want to collaborate. I say get out there and ask the blogger with whom you feel the greatest kinship.

    This was a very good write! Amy

    • Thanks, Amy. I guess the phrase “Agony Aunt” comes from I supposed connection we are meant to feel for the newspaper/magazine seems less popular a term these days.

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