Unheard Sound

 

THUD

 

My imagination

won’t let go

of the sound.

 

T-H-U-N-K

 

Just that one heavy sound:

weight – gravity – ground.

 

THUMP

 

or maybe he

let out a cry

as his feet first slid

from the roof..

 

AHhhhhhh..

 

then the T-H-U-D

 

He has no memory,

other than it was raining

earlier that day.

 

DRip…..Dri-p

 

bronzed muscular arms

fastening smiling tiles

on balanced sunny roofs –

all in a day’s work..

 

S-L-I-P

 

when we meet again

his arms lack tone and tan,

he’s less jovial, more subdued.

 

he fell

H

E

A

D

F-I-R-S-T……THUNK

 

Left side:

arm broken,

pelvis shattered.

It’s been a slow recovery,

but he can manage

my small gutter job.

He doesn’t remember,

and I wasn’t there,

but I’m still hearing

the sickening sound..

 

T-H-U-M-P!

 

Linking up to dversepoets open link night. I’ve limited my exclamation marks to one at the end. Please let me know if you think I should use more.

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32 thoughts on “Unheard Sound

  1. Your word choice and use of capitalization give this poem a concussive feel. I think that the exclamation point at the end is nice, but I don’t think that it needs more. You’ve told a sad story nicely.

    • Thanks Heidi. I kept thinking how onomatopoeia in comic books always come with exclamations, but then I figured it would be irritating to see so many that I just left it for the final ending. Good to check it’s what people would prefer.

  2. I love your inventiveness here – I thought the whimsical formatting would portend a light and airy poem. This was a surprising kick in the head and heart, great! Mosk

    • I don’t do well with heights, and I even have a vertigo by proxy sensation when I think of someone I know climbing high, so that this happened to someone I know (and I really lovely guy) meant I couldn’t shake imagining the sound.

  3. I must say you are a very creative poet… there’s always something different when I visit! Although this sounds as if it might have been a worrying scenario. I hate it when my husband gets up on the roof to clean gutters etc…it always scares me, it’s such dangerous work. Anyway it inspired another terrific poem. 🙂

  4. To be honest, there’s enough impact in the telling of the story, the arrangement of words and sound words that it doesn’t require exclamation marks at all. 🙂

    Terrifying how fragile and how things can really change through a fall and a hit on the head.

  5. I didn’t quite know where this was going at first…..scary to watch people working on high girders and scaffolds…well painted and executed poem!

  6. (very late commenting, i know… ugh)
    wow, this is scary… and oh my gawd i absolutely ADORE these lines:
    when we meet again
    his arms lack tone and tan,
    he’s less jovial, more subdued.

    so good!! a fantastic write

  7. I would hate to be ‘you’ if indeed you were there. Not a very positive memory but I would imagine it is so true as you say “all in a day’s work”. People do what the do for a living and go back and do it again. Nicely written.

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